| Man - I can't help myself.......here goes.......
I was up in court last week for ABH, Actual Bodily Harm, not grievous, I'm not an animal I conducted my own defence and I said...
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am not on trial here today, society is on trial. Oh **** it, I'm on trial, aren't I? But I'm not in contention with the prosecution's version of events. On that we agree. There was a student, he was acting up, he got a slap. But I was under severe provocation. There I was, having a quiet pint, when a student walked past and nudged me, causing me to spill a bit. I did what any fine, upstanding citizen would do. I followed him to the toilet and kicked his head in. Perhaps I should have stopped kicking him when he was in the ambulance. But I did what I did because I want to live in a world where we can have a pint without fear of being nudged by a student. I that a crime? Is it a crime to want to live in a world of peace and harmony? Is it a crime to live in a world of love? Is it a crime to hit a student across the back of the head with a snooker ball in a sock?"
That's where the defence's case collapsed.
Banged Up!!!
Sorry - feel much better now!  | 
