I can assure you a clubman D or a dooper are not quick by your standards, BUT.....
For me and my clubman D (about 30,000 + business miles PA) I am getting 64mpg measured over the last 2000 miles (I've only had the car a short while).
I use it for work and fun - and it is a mini, that alone is worth a lot.
It's no "S" but it handles much better than most vehicles out there, unless you want to spend stupid money.
It has shed loads of torque, you could always chip it, fit some GTT gear and still come home with a smile on your face and cash in your wallet. Depends how you want to spend your cash.
Only £35 tax this year, £20 next year.
I've made my choice, but I can always get on a motorcycle for my speed addiction
