If you go to a main dealer you pay top prices to expect a top job... IMO he has every right to be annoyed that all he's being offered is a respray. What about them keeping their customer happy? I agree that a respray is unfortunately, probably the best he's going to get and I too would inspect it very carefully to make sure it is perfect THIS time.
As for stanley knife marks on the roof being "just a little clumsy", I think incompetent is more like it, and I personally wouldn't expect "incompetent" from a BMW dealership.
His car, like most of us, is his pride and joy, why should he just put up and shut up? If he can get some freebies out of it, why not???