The MINI is a 50 state car so no worries about buying one out of state, lot's of people have done it.
The MINI has 6 front passenger airbags: head, side and front. It has also fared very well in test crashes and has also fared very well in real world accidents.
Well actually, I should say the passengers have fared well in serious accidents but in bad accidents many MINIs has given their lifes by dispersing the impact by crumpling and absorbing the shock. Very well engineered.
I've seen a couple pictures of really bad accidents (including Marcus-SanDiego) where the MINI has been flipped on the freeway at high speed and the roof has remained rigid and perfectly intact. And, best of all, the passengers have been unharmed. I feel it's a very safe car.
Obviously you wouldn't want to get hit by a Hummer, but at least in the MINI you have a chance to get out of the way. The MINI will laugh at doing evasive manuvers that would flip an SUV. So there are saftey tradeoffs.
As to good dealers, the only really good one is Long Beach MINI. And I have heard some good things about Irvine as well. The bad news the wait for an S at Long Beach has been as long as a year.
If you really want one you should be able to find one somewhere at MSRP.
As to the Cooper vs
MCS, a reasonable test drive of each should give you a good idea of the difference. For me, this was an opportunity to own the "sports car of my dreams" and the cost of the extra performance was an absolute bargain. But I like Coopers too, it depends on your wants, needs and desires.
What does your wife want out of the car?
You should not be forced to get anything on the car you don't want. Beware of Universal MINI.
Good Luck!