I thought I'd heard the best in dealer excuses when they told me that the reason I was getting tyre pressure/ABS/traction control warning lights coming on was because I had the wrong size tyres on when the car was actually on the same tyres it left the factory on.
But now I've heard a better excuse. After 6 months the locks on my Cooper failed and needed to be replaced after the car locked me out (with the keys in the ignition and the engine running). Since the first time the door panel has been off I've had problems with the door panel rattling. Now after the car has been in six times to fix the problem the dealer is claiming that the warrantee specifically excludes any rattles and that BMW Poland does not pay them for their time trying to fix any rattles and they are just doing so out of the goodness of their hearts. Got to love that line: first create the problem and then refuse to fix it.
Perhaps BMW Poland have never heard that the advertising sells the first car but the service sells the second. My father and grandfather both drove BMWs for as long as I can remember but I'll never be buying anything from BMW again.
Sadly I think that the policy has just been to pretend to do work on the car until the warrantee expires (which it does tomorrow - in Poland you get two years and then that's it, no way to extend at all) and then to charge me for any and all work done. Sadly for BMW they've forgotten that I write for the biggest English language weekly in Poland and that about 40% of our readers can afford to buy a BMW. Not that I'd let my experiences of owning a BMW have any effect on my reviews of BMW cars in the future....
I've now had a total of 29 faults which required dealer attention in 24 months and 12,000km. Everything from lights which either won't switch on or off or put out anything but high beam or both work at the same time to locks which either won't lock or won't unlock or which will unlock but then lock when the door is closed to tyre pressure warning/ABS/traction control which doesn't work. The car is at fault. The dealer is at fault for claiming to have fixed problems and in fact have done bugger all to fix them. BMW Poland are at fault for neither keeping an eye on their dealers nor treating customers in Poland with the same respect that they treat customers in the rest of the EU.
Next car will be a Citroen C2 VTS. Better performance than a MINI. Nearly as much fun as a MINI. Will certainly fall apart and break like a MINI. Comes with a 5 year warrantee so I don't care that it falls apart and costs 60% as much as a MINI.
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