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I'm deeply sorry for this, but someone has to put the mood for tomorrow's USA MINI day in writing. And it probably shouldn't be me. With all apologies to the Bard, British literature and the English speaking world...
The Scene: 3/22, 8:55 am, A crowd outside a MINI dealership somewhere in America.
The Moderator Approaches...
Basil: O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those MINIs in England That do no motoring today.
Moderator Mullet: What's that he wishes so? My cousin Basil? No, my fair Ozzie cousin: If we are marked to pay too much, we have enow To do our country loss: and if to buy at MSRP, the fewer MINIs the greater share of honour. God's will, I pray thee wish not one MINI more. By BMW, I am not covetous of dollars, Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost: It earns me not if men my driving gloves wear; Such outward things dwell not in my desires. But if it be a sin to covet a MINI, I am the most offending soul alive. No faith, my coz, wish not a MINI from England: God's peace, I would not lose so great an honour, As one MINI more, methinks, would share from me. For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more: Rather proclaim it Basil, through my MINI2 host, That he who hath no stomach to this sale, Let him depart, his Civic shall be made, And bucks for gas fare put into his purse: We would not buy in that man's company That fears his fellowship to buy with us. This day is called the Sale of Cooper: He that outbuys this day, and drives home safe, Will stand tip-toe when this day is named, And rouse him at the name of Cooper. He that shall buy this day, and live old age, will yearly on the vigil feast his commuters, And say, "To-morrow is MINI Cooper." Then he will open his checkbook, and show his balance, And say, "These wounds I had on Cooper's day." Old drivers forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll remember, with advantages, What bargains he haggled that day. Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words, Mullet the Moderator, S2000&CooperS, Sejanus and KarmonS, KShapiro and Gromit, Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered. This story shall the poor man teach his son: And MINI Cooper shall ne'er drive by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remembered; We few, we happy few, we band of motorers: For he to-day that sheds his money with me Shall be my brother: be he ne'er so broke, This day shall gentle his condition. And Motorers in England, now a-bed, Shall think themselves accursed they were not here; And hold their MINI's cheap, whiles any speaks that bought with us upon MINI Cooper's day.
Oh Sejanus, gifted in the ways of literary re-interpretation, thy rendering of Mullet is worthy of greater recognition than the disinterestedness of we the masses responding without consideration, posting without thought. Surely thou hast exceeded the level required for proof of lunacy, and can now be accepted into the Halls of Bedlam a practiced exponent of the art of insanity. The Brotherhood of Slightly Odd and Vaguely Eccentric Posters salute you and welcome you with open arms.
The eagle never saved so much time as when he submitted to learn from the crow.
What wind through yon trousers break...
naaah nevermind...
Chili Red / Black Roof Cooper "S", delivered Aug 5, 2002.
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Enjoy every sandwich. - Warren Zevon
How about mr.bill : " I come to bury MINI, not to praise it"?
Anyone hanging around the New Jersey docks: "Is this a MINI I see before me?"
Or security personnel at the same New Jersey reception centre: "Out, out, damned car spotters"?
See, even I got exposed to a little bit of Shakespear on my travels ...
Ordered my "S" August '01. Arrived July '02. EB with white roof, wheels and stripes, Chili pack, DSC and climate control. Hate those 17" runflats though.
Can now be seen all over the West Midlands, as a blue blur passing everything at speed
Just FYI, I am near the top of the "interest list" at my local dealership. I have not heard ONE WORD from them since I signed up the first day they were "official." My e-mails have been ignored. I never received any brochures. I never got any phone calls. I don't even know if their showroom is open and at this point, I don't care. They apparently don't want my business. There are too many reliability issues right now for me to consider one anyway. I'm not going to plunk down twenty grand until I am convinced the left pull is gone, the quality of the seats improves, the squeaks and rattles are gone and the electrical system is reliable, to name a few. The build quality has improved somewhat, but there are still far too many problems that have not been corrected. Maybe they will get their act together by this time next year, but they have already had eight months and the recent builds have many of the same problems as on launch day. It doesn't bode well, does it?
Hey! Attack my butchery of Shakespeare if you must, but lets not get insulting. I teach political science which may make me boring and pompous, but it does not make me somebody who would charge $700 for wax and floor mats.
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