NickyJ

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*leaves a small tin of sweetcorn, a litre bottle of Smirnoff Ice and a wooden skewer on the doorstep*

Just a quick welcome home note - hope you had a wonderful time, and I can't wait to see the pics...

Here, quick, down this box of wine I've just swiped from Vickie's doorstep - guzzle the evidence quick and she'll never know

*Leaves a glass of pink wine and a choccie muffin on the front step*

Get em quick, before Vickie sees

Speak to Vickie - she knows what you should expect from a PROPER stalker

Is that it? Is that the best your stalker can do?

Betcha Vickie's happy she got me - at least I give her flowers and what not

Oooh can I??! Consider yourself stalked, Nicky

So am I stalking you then?? Its all so confusing! But I can do stalking I think!

It all sounds a bit incestuous, but it works for me - we'll all be happy

I hope it doesn't get competitive - I couldn't bear to be outstalked

Get your own stalkee

Vickie, love, I'm not stalking her, I'm keeping her company