[capsfan13]

Hello,

On more than one occasion, I've had the dreaded "Is your car practical for when we have kids?" discussion. There are really only two responses to this question:

a) "No, not at all. Your point?"
b) "Yes, it's perfectly safe (even though it doesn't ride high, or have lots of room)"

Either way makes me sound like an idiot. The eventual choice will come. Either I keep the car in the garage and get a more "family-oriented" car (thinking of WRX wagon, because it will still be sort of fun, fiancee is thinking SUV or van), or get rid of the car to bring the payments on the family truckster down.

I desperately love my car, and have no plans to ever retire it.

The worst part is that my fiancee has an SUV already, but she thinks we need 2, just in case She likes the MINI just fine, but thinks that I'd be a fool to get another one, if anything should ever happen to the one we've got (knock on wood).

Any thoughts? What have you done in this situation, or what would you do?

[Paul]

Never had this problem, and Abi, myself, and the baby all get along fine with the MINIs.

[swamos]

Tell her that kids need to be in a routine, and this goes for cars. So just tell her you'd have to get a SUV that is completely identical to the other one, or the kid will just scream That should get the "Euuk you're wearing the same outfit" reflex going

Seriously though, We are expecting kids and the MINI is quite capable of being an emergency child carrier for if the toyotais off the road.

You might also play the envigomenat bandit thing... "The kid won't have any air to breath, or fuel to drive if we buy another SUV, honey." That could well be closer to the truth than she thinks. Imagine if half of America decided they needed another 2.5-3 tonne truck to carry the kids to school in

[IBMiniG]

just noticed, in you post you mentioned how much you love the MINI, but never mentioned your emotions about her . Sounds like you have a nice selection of vehicles. OR you could ask her how often she go off-road. Does she know that the highest statically incidence of fatal crashes in from roll over in an SUV? (riding high with lots of room doesn't equal safe, it may help her FEEL safe) Maybe she should get a vehicle more suited to her needs...she should get a mini van.

Do you need two cars to carry kids in? OR one car to do quick economical round town trips and one for the kids?

Stand strong man, you don't need another huge SUV on the road for the once a year "just incase", think of the fuel savings and how that will be put to better use in a college fund.(or MINI accessories)



Said with a light heart and a bit of jest, BTW, congratulations, oh and there is still time

[cliffywong]

The question is how many times will you both get into situations that require that you require more space or room.

And when the time require that you really need to use the SUV are you able to switch cars ?

My brother's got a 2 kids - the wife a minivan. And himself a golf cabriolet.

That does seem like a perfect combination. Something to boot around town and the Van for more space.

And think long term... If I was a kid I will dream about driving Dad's Mini - Instead of Dad's SUV.

[miniyup]

If she is advocating a truck-based SUV based on a mistaken impression of "safety", have her read Keith Bradsher's new book "High and Mighty: SUVs--The World's Most Dangerous Vehicles and How They Got That Way".

I think some sort of family hauler and a MINI make a great pair. Why would you need more ? Now that our kids are older and doing stuff mostly on their own, we bought a Toyota Matrix for my wife to drive. It has plenty of room in the rear seats, even for 3 people or 6'+ people like me. The seats fold down into a flat floor cargo area when you need that. This carries our teens just fine on the few occasions when we all travel as a family.

Prior to the MINI and the Matrix we had a minivan and an older model (smaller) Toyota Camry and that's all we ever needed to get everyone where they needed to go. Not sure I really understand where she is coming from when she buttonholes you on this issue.

It sounds like your family may be a few years off yet anyway, so what's the rush ? You can travel with kids in diapers and travel seats in a smallish car for first couple years with no problem at all. Our oldest was 6 before we bought the minivan. If you are not planning to start a family for 2 years, then it may be 6 or 8 years before you really even need to think seriously about any kind of larger vehicle like (or beyond) the SUV you say she already has ?!.

[dinlo]

One of our club member always take his kids and wife to the MINI meet, MINI seem perfectly fit 2 audlt and 2 kids to me

[capsfan13]

You're right...what's the rush? The only problem is that I use the hell out of my car and I simply don't want that to stop for anything. If I was to trade/sell the car to get a more family car, I'd rather do it sooner while I still have trade value in the MINI...but that choice is oh so hard.

Her pro-SUV argument goes thusly: sitting up higher simply equates to better safetly b/c you can see trouble up ahead much better than being at a smaller car's height. I agree with this point; however, this is nowhere near enough justification to dump the MINI, in my mind. She's the first to point out that most traffic accidents involve a cellphone and/or an SUV. She just feels that the height alone is worth the price of admission.

I still feel the right thing to do is hold onto the car. I'm just going to have to get used to wearing the "Bad Guy" pants... Thanks for the insights.

[davidac]

So a single woman, your fiancee, drives aound a big SUV, why again? It must be all that off roading she does. No wait, maybe all that trailer pulling, you know a big trailer, with 6 horses in it or somthing. Not only should you keep your MINI you should insist she get rid of the SUV in an effort to set an economic and environmental example for your kids. You keep the MINI that gets 30mpg and she gets a new Prius or somthing that gets 50mpg. Then you have got a the practical car (the Prius) and the fun car (the MINI). And the fun car still gets reasonable gas mileage.

[cliffywong]

Well if you agree with her PRO SUV argument - You might as well get the HUMMER H2. It's probably the highest and you never get into accidents as you just run over everything.

The mini's going to be like a Miata - the thing never drops in price.
89 miata are still probably worth 4000 grand or more.

But the most important think is stick with your gut instinct. We are all behind you.

[MINImeat]

Married with 3 kids here and, although the MINI was a bit of a hard sell, it works VERY well, thank you.
We have a van if we all need to pile in (a very reliable Honda) and we have the MINI which I use 3 times a week to take all 3 kids to school and daycare.
So it works, and the fact that it drives like a sports car is just a bonus.

[5280Motoring]

I was part of a family of four before heading out on my own. We had a family car (1983 Volvo) and either a truck or a small hatchback as the other one. We never felt any need to have two family hauling vehicles. When the Volvo was down for a time, we started packing into the hatchback. It was short term, but we were able to deal. I can see no logic to having two "family sized" vehicles. Besides, how many years would it be before the MINI back seat would become uncomfortable for little ones anyway? 4 years is the minimum age for being out of a car seat in the US.

[moorlockx]

A thoroughly sexist view of your predicament......(rant)

Back in the day, when I was young and gullible, I might have fell for this ploy your fiance' is pulling. Recognize it for what it is. She's trying to mold you in her image. Make you "practical". Or, in other words, settle you down, emasculate you, and turn you into a good "little hubby"! If you look at the situation it doesn't make a bit of sense. You've got a car you love (a small one to get around economically in),and she's got a car she loves(a big one to haul the world in). Where's the problem? Why does she feel the need to change this? You aren't even married yet, and it'll be at least 4 to 5 years before your family out grows the capacity of the MINI.

The argument of safety is stupid. On today's roads you can't see any farther in an SUV because of all the other SUV's on the road (not to mention vans, and commercial trucks). And what are you going to do when you do see something while your driving your land barge? If you're traveling at any kind of speed, you're just as likely to roll the thing trying evasive driving to avoid the situation.

It boils down to the fact that deep down she doesn't like the MINI and, worse than that, she doesn't like you in the MINI. Maybe she feels it's not "manly" enough of a car for "her man", and she's embarrassed knowing other people see you driving it.....who knows?! Needless to say, if you felt forced to trade the MINI for something you didn't love as much, it would start an underlying stream of resentment that would fester in you the rest of your life. If you could call what you'd be living after she was through with her manipulation, a life!

Take a stand. Patiently explain to her how much it would devastate you to get rid of the car. How it's part of you. Explain to her the MINI is actually safer than any SUV on the road. Not only in it's great safety features, but also in it's agility to avoid using them. Explain to her the money saved by owning such an economical car.

If these arguments don't sway her in her quest then I guess you'll have only one recourse. Trade her in on a different model and go give your car a nice wash and wax!

[monica]

Quote: Originally Posted by capsfan13

...The worst part is that my fiancee has an SUV already, but she thinks we need 2, just in case She likes the MINI just fine, but thinks that I'd be a fool to get another one, if anything should ever happen to the one we've got (knock on wood).

Any woman who manages to fill up an SUV with "family" will NEED a second SUV to lug around her fat @ss. You could point that out to her but I's got the feelin' you's a lost cause. Has she already started with the "We's"? As in "WE were going to get a small little place in the city but WE just thought it would be more practical for US to get a bigger place in the suburbs and it really is for the best because WE so hate the harried pace of the city and you know WE sooo don't think it's the proper environment for children. Oh yes, WE are planning to have loads of kids, WE just adore large families, WE think the foundation of a strong relationship is the way WE agree on everything..." Sorry but I for the sake of all that's right demand your b@lls back from that woman and get some perspective!

[Lemmiwinks]

CHING---CHING

The sounds you heard were moorlocks, and monica, both hitting the nail on the head!

[vwmini]

Audi Quattro Wagon

beautiful, fast, very sure footed and looks great

lots you can do performance wise to a 1.8T

honestly, my wife and I fully expect our up coming Mini (nov) to handle a baby if we plan to have one. We checked and it's no problem fitting a child seat, and folding one seat down to fit the stroller through.

Besides, we have a Jetta which is fine for a kid also. You have a SUV as your second vehicle. you'll be fine

[xplode]

i was ready to write a lenghty reply, but it appears moorlockx and monica has already said what needs to be said, very eloquently. chalk me up for one of each of those replies.

[moorlockx]

I may be a sexist.....but at least I'm an eloquent sexist!

[IBMiniG]

Get her to read this thread, I'd love the hear the responce....

BTW- I sold my SUV for my MINI, while I was engaged, she knows my MINI makes me happy......so she likes it too....

[geminiCS]

Wow, I am surprised at some of the mean comments about a woman that none of you know just stemming from one statement that she said. Even if they are "jokes"--pretty judgemental, rude and really reading into things WAAAY too much.

Anyway, I got the mini, and my husband and I do plan to have kids (eventually). It was a decision that was tough because I know I could have gotten something more cheaper and more practical (MP5 comes to mind) but I ended up with the car I have now.

No, I do not intend to get rid of it when I have kids. I figured that people in Europe can make it with a family and smaller cars (and in my case it would never be an SUV--sorry never got into that fad), so why can't I?

DH's car is an S2000 (which is a blast to drive, BTW ), so our future family hauler will be his company vehicle, which we can use for personal use and no matter what, that will always be a 4-door. Problem solved (as long as he continues working in the same industry that he's currently in, anyway).

It is good that you are considering your fiancee's opinion, however you will be the main driver so ultimately you will have to make the choice (because if DH forced me to get something else, I would surely resent it in the longrun)

Good luck with whatever you decide, but I'm hoping you keep your mini. Oh and your answers are not idiotic, there's nothing wrong with wanting to hang on to your car, or not wanting to drive an SUV.