OGMC (you know who you are)

[Actual Size]

...and just about anyone else's butt (although Laurie has beaten her a few times).

[Bonnie Blue]

Hey, you OGMC'ers, see this leather jacket!! Old guys rule!

[m2smith]

Flipping through my "unauthorized" channels I ran into the film "Pop Gear."
Anybody see this? A total flashback to 1964-65. An amazing collection of tunes - a few goodies sprinkled amongst some of the worst pop drivel ever. A 16 y.o. Steve Winwood in the Spencer Davis Group was front and center with a great vocal. The Nashville Teens did Tobacco Road too.

[Actual Size]

Have to see if I can find that one.

[m2smith]

Looks like its available on DVD -
Here is a review I found:
Tim Lucas Video WatchBlog: POP GEAR on Flix

[m2smith]

PREGNANT AT 59
A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about three minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him what had happened.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room.

The doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you?

Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, asked,
"Does she still have the hiccups?"

[Actual Size]

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."

The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."

[MetalMiniMayhem]

eh???...

[MaxaMiniBro]

Quote: Originally Posted by Actual Size (original)

Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."

The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."

Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."

PMSL!! (This incontinence is hell)

[m2smith]

A old man, sitting next to a young woman on a jet, suddenly sneezes. Unexpectedly, he unzips his pants and wipes his parts off with his handkerchief. He then zips up and continues reading his magazine.
The woman cannot believe what she just saw.
Then he sneezes again, unzips, and wipes it off with a handkerchief.
The woman says, "Excuse me sir, but that is disgusting and rude."
He says, "I am so sorry that I have offended you. At my old age I have developed this very rare, embarrassing physical handicap that causes me to orgasm every time I sneeze."
The woman, disarmed by the man's honesty, and somewhat embarrassed by her own callousness, says, with sympathy, "Oh you poor old man, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?"
"Pepper," he replies.

[Cape Cod MINI]

Quote: Originally Posted by m2smith (original)

A old man, sitting next to a young woman on a jet, suddenly sneezes. Unexpectedly, he unzips his pants and wipes his parts off with his handkerchief. He then zips up and continues reading his magazine.
The woman cannot believe what she just saw.
Then he sneezes again, unzips, and wipes it off with a handkerchief.
The woman says, "Excuse me sir, but that is disgusting and rude."
He says, "I am so sorry that I have offended you. At my old age I have developed this very rare, embarrassing physical handicap that causes me to orgasm every time I sneeze."
The woman, disarmed by the man's honesty, and somewhat embarrassed by her own callousness, says, with sympathy, "Oh you poor old man, I'm sorry. What are you taking for it?"
"Pepper," he replies.

[Actual Size]

Miss Bea was in her 80's and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the Spring and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the minister noticed a crystal glass bowl sitting on top of it filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity; surely Miss Bea had flipped! But he certainly couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor.

When she returned with tea and cookies they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl and its strange floater, but soon it got the best of him, and he could resist no longer.

"Miss Bea," he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this." Pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking down town last fall and I found this little package. It said to put it on your organ and keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know, I think it is working. I haven't had a cold all winter!"

[Bonnie Blue]

Rick, that's a great joke! I passed it to my co-worker and she loved it!

So you and Laurie run the Maison BB in Walpole? We could have thought to try it out before!

[Actual Size]

Our B&B is only open to MINI owners and if you're lucky you get a fold-up bed.

[m2smith]

The Frank Feldman story

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.
The cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'

Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer. Couldremember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to use. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.'

Passenger. 'Wow, some guy then.'

Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong. And his clothing was always immaculate, shoes always polished too.
He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'

Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'

Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his freakin' widow.'