Jon,
I truly empathize with your situation and as a Yank still waiting to place his order for a Cooper S it worries me.
I mentioned my little story on another posting earlier this month - I hope it helps to console you and your girlfriend a little.
In September, my wife and I (at my strong urging) purchased a 2002 GMC Envoy, which was an all new mid size SUV model very similar to the Mercedes in size and overall quality.
Now, because my Dad retired from General Motors we were able to buy the car on the employee discount program -which saved us about $6,000 - on top of that, Motor Trend magazine voted the Envoy "SUV of the Year". Sounds great huh?
My wife was so happy when we picked it up -and for $40,000 who wouldn't be? Anyway, I'm from Detroit, been around all types of cars my whole life, have relatives who own car dealerships -know the car game well - my Dad's experience and everything and STILL we had the vehicle in for service at least 8 times for fit and finish problems. The doors were out of line, moldings didn't line up, golf ball size dent in the hood (bonnet -I should say), a small tear on the leather back seat, missing rear area cargo mat, a couple rattles hear and there. Nothing major like the engine or transmission -just things that were wrong that shouldn't have been and needed to be fixed correctly the first time. The dealer put 180 miles on the car going back and forth to the body shop and who knows where else in our new truck -which my wife - (a high school teacher) had steam coming out of her ears! Complete buyers remorse -times ten! And ME -I'm the one who made her buy it! OH Man - talk about an unenviable position Here's the part I can totally relate to with your situation--- We've had to hear about and deal with every minute detail along the way! I was ready to drive my GTI off a cliff into the Pacific Ocean! Finally we straightened everything out and the Truck is perfect and she's completely happy. Hope this puts a little perspective on your situation - I know BMW does not want an unhappy customer -especially one who can make a lot of noise and get a lot of help from a website like this one. Good Luck, everything will work out. Sneak away to the pub for a bit if you can. Happy New Year!
Dave