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Deserter Zed
2,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side.

These are our rules:
Please note... these are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!

1.Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to
change that.

1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1.Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1.Crying is blackmail.

1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every

1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1.ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1.If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer
you don’t want to hear.

1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

1.Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1.You have enough clothes.

1.You have too many shoes.

1.I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1.Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

Deserter Zed
2,204 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
SoggyCornFlakes said:
<---------- prints off to put on fridge at home ............. if I'm allowed to :D
ha ha, its a worx email classic but i'd neva suin it up here so i fort i'd giv u alll a chuckle!
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