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We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We
can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough
power in the future to wreak revenge on everyone who ever
screwed us in the past.

Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows
you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail
if you really tried them.

Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include
the spanking?"

To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And
it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.

A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives. It can
provide us with higher highs and lower lows. But, if it
comes with a persistent burning sensation, see your
physician.

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably
consider dating outside the family.

If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks.
Then when Life isn't looking, give him a quick knee to
the groin.
That'll learn him.

They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and
precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is
free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
 
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