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.. Well Stated Facts...

I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!

I told my wife I feel old, fat, bald, useless, and stupid.
She said, "Don t be silly you re not old."

When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum.

I need someone to refresh my memory. How many cars are allowed
through an intersection after the light turns red? Is it three
or five?

I'm so depressed... I went to the Dr. today and he refused to
write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like
putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

How is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing
pin? It won't work and you can't fire it.

Trust me -- I'm a Lawyer.

"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless
I buy something."

Anybody who says that money can't buy happiness did
not have $10,000 invested in AOL stock eight years ago.

The gun manufacturers are not making a dangerous product.
Bad parents are.

I don't understand it. I spend the same amount on gas
every week but my car mileage seems to be slipping.
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